i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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