Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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