Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
