so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
