I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
