Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize