Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
