I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
