just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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