I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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