is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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