it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
