its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
