I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
