My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Found your dick twin last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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