If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
