he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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