He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
