ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
