Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize