singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
