I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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