so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
