Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
