she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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