like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize