I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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