I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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