Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize