Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize