Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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