i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
