I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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