Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have feelings that need drinking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize