I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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