Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck appropriateness.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
