I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
