my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
