when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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