No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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