how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
