Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
