Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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