what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want to make out with him forever
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
