are you so shy because you have an std?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
