Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
