I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
