Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize