Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
