operation harelip BJ is a go
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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