I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
