I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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