please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
