Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
