We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
