The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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