Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
