you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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