Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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