This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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