I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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