Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
this will be a night to untag.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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